There once was a man who loved to play by chance. Everything
he did was decided by a mere coin flip. Decisions were simplified to two choice
decisions. As a child he stumbled upon a deer with its leg stuck under a fallen
tree. He managed to set the deer free and it ended up being Lakshmi in disguise
and she granted him amazing luck. What once was a young innocent boy became a
sly and calculative man. His blessing had changed him completely. A boy, who
came from nothing, conned and swooned many out of their goods and soon became a
powerful man in the underground. His reputation as a gambler became infamous
across the land. He was the master of all games and could never ever reject an
offer. Eventually he grew powerful enough to hold large gambling events in his
mansion. They were massive upscale parties with bands and merriment. All the
richest and best players came to take their shot at the man. At the man’s very
last party, many came to challenge him. As the night drew on, it became a giant
drunken frenzy and the musical entertainment became the center of all interest
in the grand hall. One young gambler sang along with the band, he sang and
danced until he became dizzy and fell to the floor. Everyone laughed; the man
led the laughter and drew it on through the crowd for quite some time. The
young gambler was enraged and vowed to seek his revenge on the haughty man. One
day the young gambler challenged the man to a simple game. Of course, the man
accepted, like any other challenge. The young gambler got the man quite drunk
off of his favorite wines and decided to challenge him to a coin flip. The
young gambler waged his eternal servitude and that of all his family for the
man’s fortune. The man, although drunk, haughtily accepted the simple coin
flip. The young gambler flipped the coin, and the man called tails. Like he had
for the past twenty years. The young gambler revealed the coin and it indicate ‘heads’.
The man was defeated. Lakshmi had blessed the man with amazing luck, but not
perfect luck. The young gambler had simply used a same-side coin and just like
that – the man had been undone.
Author's Note: This story is based off of Yudhishthira and Shakuni's gambling story. The young gambler is Shakuni and the man is Yudhishthira. Similar to Narayan's epic, the young gambler (Shakuni) is embarrassed by the man (Yudhishthira), and then seeks revenge on him by waging his servitude.
Bibliography:
- Narayan, R. K. (1978). The Mahabharata.
Hey, Avi! I really like your storytelling post. For one, it was easy to read and follow along which was great. Also, the language you used added a lot – “mere coin clip,” “young innocent boy became a sly and calculative man,” etc. The picture you included for your post was also fun and colorful and definitely fit the story. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Avi! I really enjoyed your story, and I think you did a great job of retelling it. While I was reading the Mahabharat I always thought that the young gambler or Shakuni to be the bad guy. He always seemed to be the jealous type especially when the Pandavs were exiled just because the Kauravs were jealous of the Pandavs and their public popularity. But in your story you somehow managed to change my opinion of Shakuni from being an evil and jealous conspirator to a guy who was victimized and just wanted revenge. Getting revenge is still bad though. Your version of the story kind of validated his actions. You also did a great job of conveying the feelings of this young gambler and making the rich gambler with the good luck look like a jerk. Overall I thought your story was on point and was a fun read. I cannot really think of a way to make it better. I guess you can break the story into paragraphs so it is not one whole chunk to read at once, which is pretty daunting. There were also a few grammar errors, I think, maybe I am wrong though.
ReplyDeleteHi Avi! I loved your storytelling post! You did a great job of using detail to really bring your story to life which made it thoroughly entertaining. It seems like the man had become a little cocky, so I wasn't terribly sad for him when the young gambler tricked him. He shouldn't have let what happened change him so much. The picture you used was perfect! Great job!
ReplyDeleteAvi, I really enjoyed your twist on the gambling story. The way you described the gambling situation as a flip with a same-sided coin was quite philosophical. It is as if they didnt really have a choice in the matter and it had become an addiction, much like a same-sided coin with no choice but one. I think you did a terrific job of comparing the story to something more interesting for your readers to get into. Great job.
ReplyDeleteGreat story this week, Avi. Your story was packed with tons of detail, which really helped me as a reader imagine what you were describing. The older gambler definitely had that loss coming, and I was rooting for the younger guy to win. I think your author's note did a great job of explaining your motive and how your story parallels the original.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a really great job on this storytelling as well! My biggest issue I’ve noticed throughout your blog is that you always write in these huge blocks of text. Literally two sentences into a block of text like that and you lose readers. Their eyes glaze over and they don’t always read everything (they skim). That’s a tip I hope you’ll take into account from now on: separate your ideas and different story plot points into different paragraphs!
ReplyDeleteHey happy Monday Avi! Once again I absolutely enjoyed reading your story. I liked how you kept your story so similar to the original, I feel as though it really refined the classic story. One reason why I liked this version better than the original is due to the fact that the young gambler was not necessarily corrupt but rather trying to even the score with a bad guy. As always it’s a pleasure reading your stories. Keep up the hard work
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