My four brothers and I wait in line as many kings and princes have come as suitors to partake in this challenge and take the young and beautiful Draupadi's hand in marriage.
King Drupada sits in his grand golden throne just off center of the grand hall alongside the beautiful Draupadi. She is veiled, but her stunning facial features can still be seen through the translucent material.
Many princes and kings attempt the trial before me, all of my brothers and a man named Karna is the last to go before me. The challenge looked quite simple but after seeing so many fail I begin to feel a bit nervous.
Finally the man named Karna partakes in the challenge and is able to lift and string the bow however fails in the end to shoot through the eye of the fish.
A million thoughts run through my head and I quickly conclude that this test is made for purest of archers. This test requires concentration, a sense of timing, and precision. All things that I believe my great teacher Drona has taught me. It is almost as if Drupada has created this test with me in mind. Karna fails and it is at last my turn.
As I walk to the center of the grand hall, I can see disbelief in many people's eyes for I am still in disguise and dressed as a simple brahmin, alongside my brothers. I close my eyes and focus. I tune out all of the doubt and negative feelings coming from the crowd and am ready to prove myself. I focus all of my energy to lift Krishna's great bow, Pinakin, and readily aim it. All the murmuring and talking amongst the crowd are tuned out of my head and I gaze deeply into the reflection of the beautiful golden fish and ready my bow. I do the same routine, as Drona had taught me: I inhale a large breath, stand upright, draw the bow and let the arrow fly. It pierces straight through the fish's eye and gasps of disbelief are heard throughout the crowd.
I know that many are thinking, "How could a simple Brahmin perform such a test many kings and princes could not do?" I do not listen to such negativity and stand tall and proud. Krishna approaches me and tells me of our past lives together. I truly think hard and try to recall any such memories from my past life but it is to no avail. Krishna looks at me with an expression of understanding and congratulates me on completing this difficult task. Prince Dhrishtadyumna takes my brothers and me to King Drupada and there we reveal ourselves to him and claim Draupadi's hand in marriage.
Author's Note: I picked this story because it had to do with my favorite character: Arjuna. Also this was one of the only parts of the story I found I could add my own spin to for the reading sections assigned this week. I haven't done a story through first person in a long time so I wanted to revisit it. Adding my own details to the story made it fun to write, overall an enjoyable experience. I think that Arjuna is a difficult character to understand and undertaking the task of creating his thoughts and feelings was a challenging task. It was challenging, but rewarding as well because he is such an integral character in the epic that their is no limit to the creativity you can use with his character and encounters. I didn't want to change anything up from the original story because I was already satisfied with the way things went. I figured I would do this part of the story an injustice if I tried to spin it my own way in the end and write a completely unsatisfying ending. I think my strengths are sticking to the original plot and simply adding more detail. I think this story and my story about Rama vs Ravana are my two best stories.
Bibliography:
Narayan, R. K. (1978). The Mahabharata
This was a nice retelling of Arjuna's story. I like that you show it from a first person perspective and add your own touches with Arjuna's inner thoughts. It is interesting that you show Arjuna being nervous before the contest. Since, in the Mahabharata, Arjuna is always shown as such a prodigy as a warrior, it is interesting to see that even he gets nervous.
ReplyDeleteHi Avi! I really enjoyed this storytelling post! I think you did a great job at keeping to the storyline, but making it your own. I really like that you told this story from Arjuna's perspective and that we got to see your perspective on what some of his inner thoughts might have been. I really like that you had him show a lot of emotion. It made it really interesting and exciting to read! Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteI love that you decided to do this story in your retelling. I really love this story and I think you did a good job with it. That being said, my issues are mainly with the fact that you didn’t do any paragraph breaks. It was really hard to stay interested in the story when it was just this huge block of text. If you choose to put this story in your portfolio, I highly urge you to separate your text into paragraphs. It’s seriously one of my pet peeves when people don’t separate their stories into paragraphs, and it makes me want to not read any of your stuff. It’s such an easy fix, I promise! You have great ideas and stories, but my eyes glaze and I end up just skimming it because it’s just one block of text. You also still need to turn off that captcha thing so everyone can post comments without having to deal with a stupid captcha.
ReplyDeleteHey Avi! I really like your version of Arjuna's story! You made it your own, but didn't stray so far from the original that I couldn't see the connection. You also gave Arjuna some cool characteristics that I would not have originally attributed to him. I do wish you would have broken it up a bit though, it's hard to read a big block of text. It just seems a little tiring to the eyes.
ReplyDeleteHey again! Great recreation of the story. I also really liked Arjuna and I enjoyed how you chose to tell the story from his perspective. It was really cool to see how you imagined his thoughts as he prepared for the challenge. From your story, he seems like a humble character despite all of his skill. One thing that you might consider doing differently is moving your picture into the actual story so that it can help supplement the story a little better. Other than that, great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Avi Lal! I really enjoyed reading your story and thought you did a great job on retelling it. I also really liked the picture that you picked to represent the story, it was a great visual and I could imagine what it would have looked like. Overall I think it was a great read and I hope to be back for more.
ReplyDeleteHey good morning Avi! I really enjoyed your rendition of the story. I thought you did a fantastic job of taking the first person view and adding your own inner thought to the whole situation. While I read the original I felt as though I wasn't quite able to feel what Ajuna was experiencing but thankfully you did a great job giving me insight on what he might have been thinking. The only thing that you might want to add is page breaks but that's just a minor thing. Other than that, it was fantastic and I can't wait to read the next story.
ReplyDeleteHi Avi, since we have free will on picking who we want to comment on I chose you to read and comment on your story. I really enjoyed reading your story about Arjun. Like you I also really like Arjun and he is also my favorite character. He always seemed way stronger even though one of the other Pandav brothers was the strong one, and he always seemed smarter and level headed. This story was also one of my favorite stories out of the Mahabharata, I believe I also wrote this story too as far as I can remember. Your story read very well and very smoothly. I also liked how you put in how Arjun would be feeling at the point in time, all the emotions of anxiety and doubt. You were able to convey those feelings very well it felt as if I was the person about to shoot the bow. After reading your story I could not really find any mistake to fix, I am assuming they were already fixed after Dr. Gibbs’s email. I also could not think anything that could make it better. Overall it was a great story and I will be back for sure next time to read more.
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